But I’m just gonna post this to vent and get my feelings out.
Track season has started and I’m not as in shape as I should be. This is completely my fault. I didn’t run enough in the winter, and yes I did get hung up with a virus for a while, but that doesn’t excuse every time I didn’t run when I should have. And every day I think, “God I hate track, why am I even here?” and I know a lot of this is part of my anger at not being “the best” anymore. A freshman worked harder than me over the winter and it showed. And I’m mad about it. So what does my mind do? It decides, “You should just quit!” and now I have this running through my head all day. I should just quit. Why do something that makes me unhappy?
Because it doesn’t really make me unhappy. It’s myself that makes me unhappy, not the sport, not running. I’m not going to quit. I’m not a quitter. I won’t do track next year, fine, but I’m going to finish what I started. So, evil twin/inner self, you can stop telling me to quit, you can stop telling me I suck, you can just pipe the fuck down as Jenna Marbles would probably say (sorry, I had to). Because I have no more room for your negativity and the self-doubt you bring along with it.
I have PR’s to break, races to win, and a whole lot of sweat to shed before I’m done with track, and I’ll keep fighting until I see it all through to the finish line.
Jeanne Ray (via fyoured)
This is beautiful. This is “moderation.” And this really, really, really makes me want a piece of cake. LOL